Three ways not to be a suck up that will help your team win

[Read time: 4 minutes]

Ahoy,

I once worked alongside a leader that was not liked by the command team…

There was a defect on board the submarine whilst we were deployed that was causing problem.

Nothing overly major but it still needed fixing.

This leader’s team came together and came up with a solid plan to fix it.

They then briefed their leader who agreed that the plan was good. This brings us to the hard part…

They then needed to brief this to the commanding officer.

Unsurprisingly, the plan was ripped to pieces.

It was a good plan, but the relationship they had caused friction. As a result, the team had to generate a new plan, which took more time and energy when they really needed to be getting some well needed rest.

Not to mention, this time could have been spent actually fixing the problem!

I tell this story, to highlight the impact that your relationship with your boss can have on your team.

There has not been a single job that I have worked where my boss hated me.

In fact, I had a positive relationship with every leader I’ve ever had!

Does this make me a suck up?

Because of the way I managed this, not at all.

But can you find me one example of where a poor relationship with a senior has benefited the rest of the team?

I’ll wait…

It’s not going to happen. Why? Because bad blood has a way of trickling down to the rest of the team.

If your boss doesn’t trust you, the way they treat you will be different, and their view on your team will be different.

Maintaining a positive relationship with someone you probably wouldn’t want to hang out with outside of work can be a challenge. So lets go through some basic rules you should follow to make sure your team doesn’t suffer from a poor relationship.

How not to be a suck up

Firstly, nobody want you to be a suck up.

It’s terrible watching someone do it, and it’s terrible when you’re the boss and someone is doing it to you!

It’s not genuine.

And leaders can see straight through that. If you don’t back up your insincere attitude with good results, you’re in for a up hill fight.

So how do you build a positive relationship with your boss, without sucking up to them?

1. Build rapport

2. Be a genuine person

3. Deliver above expectations

Easy right?

Let’s break each one down a bit.

1. Build rapport.

I’ve talked about this before, and you can find more details on how to build rapport in my free E-book: 5 core principles to success as a leader - I’ll attach a copy below.

But what is the number 1 tool I use that you can immediately implement to get started right away?

• Matching

This is mirroring the “energy” of the person you’re communicating with.

If they’re in a good mood, match that. If they’re tired and a bit slow today, don’t come running in like a bull in a China shop!

By matching their energy you show you have similar characters, which builds a stronger connection faster.

2. Be a genuine person.

It feels wrong that I even need to put this in here.

Just be yourself.

There is no way you can put on a fake persona in front of your boss forever, and when they realise who you really are, you’ll break any trust you built.

It’s not just about coving up who you really are with someone you think the boss wants to see, it’s also about having personality.

In the same way you want your team to be able to communicate with you, your boss probably wants the same.

But they don’t want to talk to a bunch of robots.

Have a personality.

If you agree with them, tell them. If you don’t, tell them. Don’t go crazy, play it smart, but make sure you have your own opinions and your own personality.

This makes building relationships much easier.

3. Deliver above expectations

This one is obviously more easily said than done but it has a huge impact on your reputation and how much investment your boss will put into your relationship.

Think of the people on your team.

It’s likely that the ones that are delivering the best work, not only have the better reputations, but also have better relationships with management (and often with peers as well).

By delivering consistently high quality work you get noticed.

And people (managers) want to build better relationships with those people because it benefits them.

And a better relationship with your manager, benefits you and your team.

This has seemed a lot more like a “how to be a good team member” as opposed to a “how to be a good leader” post.

But remember, your team wins from your ability to build good relationships.

I hope you got something out of today’s newsletter. If you did, make sure you share it with a friend. And if you are that friend, make sure you subscribe below:

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Have a great day.

Reece

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