What to do when spotting changes of behaviour in your team

[Read time: 4 minutes]

Ahoy,

During one of my roles on board a submarine, I found myself going through a rough patch.

Nothing crazy.

But not quite Pina Colada season either.

It didn’t really have anything to do with work. But at the end of the year I found myself apologising for how it effected the team…

Last week we spoke about capitalising on members of the team performing well.

(If you missed last weeks, you can re-read it here: Two words that will motivate anyone (beehiiv.com))

We followed that up on Wednesday with another scenario. This week however, it was less positive!

While the scenario was based on a high performing team member slipping their standards, the heart of the questions was about a change in behaviour. How should we react when a team member is showing a sudden change in behaviour?

Lets dive into it.

Firstly, and maybe most importantly:

That’s true for you and its true for your team.

Obviously it depends where you work, and what your position is. Naturally as a leader, you’re expected to invest more into your role that your team.

And obviously it’s a good trait to set the example of hard work to the team.

But still, no matter how big of a part work is in your life, it’ll never be 100%.

Shockingly, things happen when you’re not at work.

Family issues, illness, winning the lottery…

All things that don’t really have anything to do with work, yet at the same time have everything to do with work.

I started this email with a quick story of a rough patch I went through. Throughout, I had no idea anything was different. Only towards the end of my time where I asked for some feedback from the team did I find out how my behaviour had changed.

This is where I learned personally, that what happens outside of work truly does effect what happens at work.

So what’s the impact of understanding this?

Teachers probably know this better than anyone.

When a child that is usually a well behaved, good student, starts acting out in class, there is almost always a reason behind it.

Or even when the loud, not so well behaved student - the class clown - is much more reserved than usual.

Instinctively we know that there must be something going on behind the scenes.

When we’re talking about children, it’s very easy to come at this situation with a sense of understanding. However, when we see this behaviour copied across to adults, we are much less relaxed about the situation!

Lets look at the scenario.

Someone usually performs well but has started coming into work late.

It’s tempting to start this approach with a quick:

“Hey, you were late. Don’t let it happen again.”

But all we’re doing here is piling on negative emotion which may have been the case of the lateness in the first place. Also, what do you think that does to your leadership capital?

Shocker. Nothing good.

So instead lets see how we could manage this scenario in a way that gets us the solution we want, whilst also not spending a tonne of leadership capital.

This is where the benefit of building a strong rapport with your team comes in.

Having a strong rapport will really support in this conversation flowing smoothly and hopefully to a satisfying conclusion.

Really simply you want to ask them if they’re okay…

Wild revelations happen in this newsletter I know.

But seriously, how are they?

“Hey, how are things? I’ve noticed you’re starting to run a bit late to work and thought I’d just check that everything is going well for you?”

You’ve not been accusative. You’ve not ordered them to do anything. You’ve just laid the foundation for them to express any concerns they may have.

So you’ve identified a change in behaviour and you’ve asked about it in a non-accusative way.

You’ll either get the “Everything is fine” response, or the “Actually yeah, I’m dealing with…” response.

Option A) You still don’t want to get mad and punish them. This is the opportunity to express what you need from them, whilst also reminding them that if something does happen, they can speak to you and you can help with things from the work point of view.

By setting the boundary whilst also offering to support them if needed you reinforce the rules, but also don’t need to spend leadership capital. If anything, you gain some, with the team understanding more that you’re there to fight for them.

Option B) Now you have the opportunity to support them. This is what being in a position of leadership is really about. Supporting your team when they need it. I won’t tell you what that looks like because every work place is different. But you know the reason behind the change in behaviour, what are you going to do as the leader to support them?

Lets just summarise real quick.

• You notice a change in behaviour.

• You sincerely ask if the person is okay.

• If they are, highlight the problem to them but remind them you’re there to support them if needed.

• If they’re not, take the time to do everything you can to support them.

If you genuinely care and take the time to spot when something isn’t right, then help that person through their struggle you have:

1. Done a good thing. You should be proud knowing you’ve done your job well AND you’ve been a good person in the process.

2. Gained a huge amount of leadership capital.

So take the time to identify when something might not be right.

It’s your responsibility as a leader to care for your team.

What a great culture this builds in your team when this is the attitude carried by everyone.

As always, have a great day!

If you have any comments or questions feel free to get in touch through X (Twitter) using the link below.

And do make sure to share this with other leaders. Lets make the workplace a better place to be.

Reece